McHeaven
by marigoldsandmerchants
Summary: McGee and DiNozzo must pose as a gay couple to bring out a Navy killer. CHANGING WEBSITES
1. Chapter 1

**I have fallen off my Psych wagon and I need help climbing back up. Lately, I've been watching reruns of NCIS. I've got to say, there is something special about those two.**

TONY'S POV

Why me? Why of all people did Gibbs put _me_ in a relationship with McGoo? I can't handle this. I talk about the ladies all the time for a reason: so, no one can attack me like they did in high school. I talk big. It's what I do. I embellish the truth about who I date. I stretch the truth when school becomes the topic of the table. I sprinkle little guilty lies when I want to spend time with McGeek after work. Even if we're just playing first-person shooter games in sweats at his small, cozy apartment. It all feels so perfect. To him, we're just hanging out. He doesn't know what his smell does to me.

And now we're on a gay retreat. Together. As an undercover couple. I'm sure Mark is the killer. But it could be Manny. And Beckett has shifty eyes. He just reached for my hand. I swallow a dry lump in my throat, pressing my digits against McRib's. And… he's interlocked them. We're signed up for trust falls with Mark and Joe. We've got karaoke with Manny and Jorge. And we've got yoga with Beckett and Brandon. Let the games begin.

TIM'S POV

It's only the second day, and Tony is so fidgety. Is that normal? Am I supposed to be nervous about pretending to date my best friend to catch a bad guy? Yes? No? when have I ever done what was right for me? I don't think Mark's the killer anymore. Those two trusted each other so much in the falls. Tony caught me, like I knew he would. Mostly. He certainly has a flair for the dramatic. But I knew he wouldn't drop me on purpose. This is a really important case. Plus, Boss is watching us.

Up next is karaoke tonight. I've already signed us up to sing _Piano Man_. It's a crowd favorite. It almost encourages you to sing along. Or at least sway. If Manny isn't affected by this, we may have found the killer of our ten Navy scouts. I wonder what song they'll pick. I wonder if I'm getting too carried away with this. It's not like I'm _actually_ dating Tony. All we've done is hold hands and share a bed. Platonically.

TONY'S POV

Wow. Manny and Jorge belted out _Don't Rain on My Parade_. There was so much passion – not the MO for our killer. It's got to be Beckett. If not, we'll have to start all over again from scratch. I'm not sure I can stay on this retreat much longer with McLoose. He seemed to forget we were a "couple" while we sang _Piano Man_. Ziva's going to have a field day when we get back. Abby's going to go crazy, bombarding us with questions. Fun.

Alright. Last up, we've got yoga. Beckett and Brandon. We just need to stick it out until one of them starts acting shady. We get feed of the distribution, and we are out of here. Oh, wait! Isn't that Beckett? I pull on our joined arm, gesturing McNoodle toward a suspicious man. He nods, assuring me it is Beckett. He's running toward the forestry, talking in hushed tones on his phone. If we are going to solve this case, we need to get closer. Luckily, McFresh notices this too. And we're off. Normally, I do pretty well with the whole sneaking around. I guess it's the whole couple thing that's making it difficult.

TIM'S POV

Oh, God. Beckett's turning back. He's going to catch us. We don't have our weapons. He might. What the hell are we going to… please don't hate me for this, Tony. In a flash, I shove a practically immobilized Tony against a nearby tree. Before he can say anything, I let my lips crash into his. I keep my eyes closed and pray he does the same. After a couple seconds, I feel him kissing back. There's something about his lips on mine that feel almost perfect. We move in synchronization, and my hands start to wander, getting tangled in the mess on his head. I almost lose myself completely until I hear Beckett's voice. He's brushed us off as a horny couple and he's back on the track for delivery. I let out a shudder as I pull myself away from the warmth Tony's body gives out.

TONY'S POV

Not a word has been spoken. Does McHeaven know what he's done to me? That was wonderful. I had no idea Probie could kiss like that. He's just full of hidden talents. We've been separated now, and I've heard his footsteps fading. He's following Beckett. I open my eyes. Beckett. Right. We're on the case. But… did that kiss mean anything? Anything at all?


	2. Recon

I'm handing over this story to **_scaryfangirl2001_** on **AO3**


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